No pun in ten did...

...yes, a pun. My favourite humour type - they can be so clever. "I submitted ten puns to the "pun of the year" comptetion, thinking one of them would get up. Unfortunately..."

I bunch of puns arrived the other day by email. Nice! I don't know what the collective noun for puns might be, but I know the thing they come in is called a punnet. I like really smart puns that put a different spin on a completely ordinary statement. I'm not sure why bars feature so much in jokes... a barman looked up one time to see an Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman coming through the door. He said; "is this some sort of joke?"

Anyway, here are some of the better ones...

A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.

Two cows standing next to each other in a field,
Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

The last one reminds me of one of my favourite jokes... a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac was laying awake at night wondering if there really was a dog.