The Super-Serious Secretary. This was a nick-name coined for me by my little sister. I thought it was crazy when she first told me about it, but it turns out to be a reminder to me that you don't always realise what the image is you create of yourself.
First point of clarification, she isn't actually my little sister. That's a nick-name too. Her real name is Christine. She's a friend of the family's. Up until a few years ago, I had more to do with her husband than her, and similarly she had more to do with my wife. But then Christine and her husband joined me on an outback trip and ended up spending hundreds of hours together! We discovered we got on really well, and I soon started referring to her as "my little sister". Soon after, she confessed to having previously called me the "super-serious secretary". Not sure if she had called me this to many people or if it was a private thing, but in any case - by the time she got to telling me about it, the irony of the name had become obvious and it sort of stuck as a kind of in-house joke.
In person, few people would ever make the mistake of calling me super-serious. I love a laugh, and am particularly fond of puns. These kind of creep into conversation, and I find myself sort of needing to be careful not to overdo it, in case people regard me as flippant! But get with friends some time when the pressure is off, and jokes slowly get more frequent and sillier. Once Christine was entrapped in a vehicle with me for a few hours, she soon realised that super-serious was not a good description of me at all. She was shocked she'd got it so wrong!
One time, she took the time to try to explain. Up until we had set off on the long trip, the most she ever saw of me was in my role as Secretary of the local church. Here, in members meetings and occasionally in church services, I got to talk about all sorts of issues, most of which were not that humourous. When you are making a proposal to build a new building, appoint a pastor, remove people from the membership role, or adjust the constitution, it is my view that most people are wanting you to keep to the facts and keep moving - not spin yarns! Hence, I adopt a business like and efficient presentation style, and generally keep jokes to a minimum, and aim not to distract people from what I want them to decide. Christine had seen me so much in this sort of role, and so little in any other role, that she believed I was actually a no-fuss, no-fun sort of person.
Later again, I realised that the reality might be closer to Christine's original image of me than I would really like. While I like to tell jokes and be fun, I sometimes look back and think I am trying too hard to be something that I am not. The other day, I travelled to Bendigo and back with two colleagues - neither of which had spent much time alone with me before. The trip up was full of jokes and laughs and stuff - really great. But, after going to a meeting for a few hours, we travelled back together and the conversation took an intensely serious tone just a few minutes into the trip and stayed there until we got home. Reviewing the trip, I reflected that I had liked the fun part, but had really thrived in the more serious, deep and meaningful portion of conversation. While I would not say I had to force the laughs, I felt much more at home being serious.
And I am left wondering about the persona we try to project, and how it varies from our real nature. I might have to catch up with a psychologist!
